How to Win the Status Game

Here’s a harsh truth: You chase status. 

You care deeply about your rank in social hierarchies. No matter how much you deny it.

And it's not your fault.

Humans evolved over millions of years to compete for status. And for good reason.

For our ancestors, status wasn’t about ego. It was about survival.

Being low status could cost you your life. Low status people ate last. High status people made the rules.

High status individuals were more likely to attract mates and pass on their genes.

But we’re not hunter gatherers anymore, fighting for survival in tribal camps.

Most of us live in cities, surrounded by abundance and technology.

We’re not running from predators or collecting firewood. We’re sitting on the couch ordering Uber Eats.

So why does status still matter?

Why Status Matters Today

Status is a social technology. It helps us cooperate and make sense of complex groups.

Without it, we wouldn’t know who to trust, who’s competent at what, or whose lead to follow.

Our brains are wired to play status games in every part of our life.

Even kids care about their standing. Little boys fight to prove their place in the social hierarchy.

Our culture defines ways to win status, usually through possessions and behaviors which signal our ranking.

Of course, we don’t fight over resources the way we used to. Today’s status games look different. Now, it’s about career success, Instagram followers, and the brands we wear.

Being high status benefits you in every way. People will be kinder to you, you get more opportunities, and dating becomes much easier. 

And it goes even further. Your health depends on it. 

Being high status is linked to:

• greater happiness

• lower stress levels

• better heart health and immune function

and much more.

Losing status can trigger severe mental health issues and spike your cortisol levels, a stress hormone that, over time, can make you physically sick. 

“But wait, isn’t chasing status shallow?”

It can be, if it’s just about flashing status symbols. This type of status is fragile. Your car is cool until a new model drops.

When done right, it’s about building trust and creating value. The most lasting way to get status is to create an impact.

By ignoring status games you choose to be low status.

And this means missing out on all the benefits.

Now that we know why status matters, let's talk about how to earn it.

Here are four ways to build the kind of status that lasts. 

Four Ways to Win the Status Game

1. Master Something Valuable

Status is tied to competence. How valuable are you to society? People won’t respect you just for existing (unless you’re a hot girl). Sorry, that’s just the truth.

Get competent at something and master it. Skill is the most durable way to earn status. You can lose your possessions, but not your skills.

Maybe you’re a creative writer. Maybe you’re a coach with elite fitness expertise. When people see you consistently create value, status suddenly starts chasing you.

2. Play the Right Games

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that status games are inherently zero-sum. If you win, someone else loses. Status is hierarchical—there can’t be multiple top dogs.

The good news is that you can win in many arenas. 

Ask yourself 2 questions: 

• What are my strengths? 

• Where can I play them out?

The obvious arena is money. You’ve climbed the career ladder or built a business. We value success in the workplace. But status doesn’t have to come from wealth.

Maybe you’re religious and respected in your church for your knowledge and ability to teach the scriptures.

If you’re a physics nerd, you might not win in nightclubs, but you can earn status as the go-to smart guy on campus.

Diversify your game.

In the wrong room, you're invisible. In the right one, you’re elite.

3. Earn Trust Through Warmth and Sincerity

Next to competence, warmth and sincerity are crucial.

People who are competent but arrogant or cruel rarely gain lasting influence. People want to feel heard and respected, not looked down on. You want to treat them as equals, even when they’re not.

People follow those they like and respect. Being likeable is a superpower, and the fastest way to get it is kindness.

High status people are often seen as kind and trustworthy.

Be interested in people. Be generous. Be reliable and honest.

It’s amazing how far you can go just by nailing the basics.

4. Don’t Need It Too Much

Status is important, but needing it too much repels it. You start looking desperate.

Overtly signaling status lowers status. The higher status you are, the less you need to prove it. 

The highest status people don’t chase approval, they attract it.

If someone needs to convince people of their high status, they usually aren’t. 

Focus on creating value, not signaling it.

The Inevitability of Status Games

Status games are inevitable. You can play them the right way or choose to be low status.

Learn something valuable, pick the right games, and be a nice person to be around.

What gives you status is often good for you anyway. You’ll gain confidence, make more money, and live a more fulfilling life.

Just don’t overdo it and fall into the trap of constantly comparing yourself.